Good morning to you beloved readers, above you will see a rather delightful rubber mat that once graced the entrance to one of my local watering holes "The Kings Arms".
I managed to purchase it off the landlord after his decision to turn it into a ghastly gastro pub renamed "The Artichoke & iPad".

I retreated to the last remaining proper hostelry to enjoy a quiet pint or fifteen when my thoughts turned to smoking. How many ways is it possible to hold a cigarette, I thought? With that in mind I began to conduct an important survey, and with the help of my friend Michael here are some  examples.

 Above Michael is holding his smoke in a relaxed and confident manner while engaged in idle chit-chat with the attractive barmaid Beryl.

 Here the conversation becomes more serious and Michael is using his cigarette to make a point.

 The cigarette is now dropped and his fingers are used to explain the finer details.

 Now he,s becoming more serious, or does he find Beryl very attractive?

 The conversation turns to the arts as we see Michael holding his fag in a flamboyant way.

 Now he's discussing the criminal underclass and adopting a slightly dodgy hold.

Michael begins to raise his beverage to his lips,while still affectionately holding his tab, he now retreats to the garden where he can enjoy a smoke thus ending this survey. Thank you or perhaps it should be bottoms up.