Wednesday, 31 October 2012

 Beloved readers, next time you stare out to sea, spare a thought for the jolly lobster.
 Although this delightful crustacean is highly prized for its delicious flesh it is also a very intelligent creature and can with a little patience be trained to complete numerous tasks.
 Here we see Alan above about to prune some dead branches from a conifer with his powerful claws
 Next he's seen watering the patio pots
 Alan is now in hot pursuit of next doors dog before it leaves an unsightly deposit on the lawn.
And lastly after successfully chitting his crop of seed potato's, is seen digging over the family allotment in preparation for a bumper spring harvest. Thank you.

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

 Good morning to you beloved readers, above you will see a rather delightful rubber mat that once graced the entrance to one of my local watering holes "The Kings Arms".
I managed to purchase it off the landlord after his decision to turn it into a ghastly gastro pub renamed "The Artichoke & iPad".
I retreated to the last remaining proper hostelry to enjoy a quiet pint or fifteen when my thoughts turned to smoking. How many ways is it possible to hold a cigarette, I thought? With that in mind I began to conduct an important survey, and with the help of my friend Michael here are some  examples.
 Above Michael is holding his smoke in a relaxed and confident manner while engaged in idle chit-chat with the attractive barmaid Beryl.
 Here the conversation becomes more serious and Michael is using his cigarette to make a point.
 The cigarette is now dropped and his fingers are used to explain the finer details.
 Now he,s becoming more serious, or does he find Beryl very attractive?
 The conversation turns to the arts as we see Michael holding his fag in a flamboyant way.
 Now he's discussing the criminal underclass and adopting a slightly dodgy hold.
Michael begins to raise his beverage to his lips,while still affectionately holding his tab, he now retreats to the garden where he can enjoy a smoke thus ending this survey. Thank you or perhaps it should be bottoms up.

Monday, 29 October 2012

 Good morning to you beloved readers, here's a few little finds for you to enjoy whilst partaking of your morning beverage starting above with this splendid vintage desk top organiser (with draws). and two of the most handsome wicker in/out trays you'll ever see.
 Lets have a closer look, aren't they delightful?
 A pair of hand knitted Aran sweaters.
 A metal box belonging to Joseph Crookes who apparently had problems with timekeeping.
 A modernist toy garage with working lift.
 A set of bar skittles.
 A film poster, (I don't find anything remotely funny about these four, do you?)
And lastly a full (very full) chested figurehead.
Thank you. Today your Bugle is conducting a very important survey, tune in tomorrow for the results. Thank you once again.

Saturday, 27 October 2012

 Good morning beloved readers, today for your enjoyment we have a series of short publications for ladies only, although the stories won't exactly qualify for The Booker prize, the cover illustrations are splendid, beginning above with what sounds like a Queen single.
 He's spent all night trying to ward her off.
 This poor woman is being bullied dreadfully by this awful couple.
This chap took his girlfriend in the fog and mist.
 She's saying, "darling could you nip to the bar and get me a packet of pork scratchings".
 This could be rhyming slang.
 This angelic looking chap has had enough, he's about to produce a shot gun from his inside pocket and blow her head off.
 He looks like he enjoys being dominated.
 This poor unfortunate creature is powerless to prevent her hubby from knocking off another woman.
 She thinking..."next time I'm using Eurostar".
 This chap is a complete perv, he's making pleasant conversation with this woman whilst trying to steal her gloves.
 No wonder this woman looks startled, so would you if some weirdo in a cravat stepped out of a cave.
This pretty woman is thinking "shall I nick the red or blue dress", unaware the handsome store detective is watching her.
Thank you.

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

 Good morning to you beloved readers, with the festive season soon upon us are you wondering what to purchase as a gift for a friend, family member or loved one? Well those creative types at The Bugle International Institute of Arts& Crafts have once again come up with a wonderful idea. With a couple of metres of flex and a trendy modern shade you can turn literally any object into a delight table lamp. Here are a few stunning examples.....

  Thank you.

Monday, 22 October 2012

 Good morning beloved readers, now are you comfortably seated? Are you sure? Good, now lets begin with a pair of wonderful framed posters depicting the work of Alphonse Mucha, these were expertly framed by the long gone high street shop Athena, (replaced probably by a coffee bar or charity shop). These rare and delightful pictures will be on sale at Spitalfields antiques market this Thursday and won't cost mucha.
 Next up a delightful gilded overmantel mirror, whats that rather phallic looking object reflected in it?
 Cor blimey missus, here it is!
It's ok readers, its simply an ancient mooring post from Portmouth naval dockyard, just think of the ships that could have been tethered to it... The Mary Rose, The Victory, The Titanic, The battleship Potemkin, The Bismarck, The Brittania, The 12.15 to the Isle of Wight. Yes beloved readers the list is endless. Thank you.

Sunday, 21 October 2012

 Beloved readers, due to the very nature and extremely high quality of this weekends purchases, The Bognor Bugle International institute of stability recommends that you remain seated whilst reading todays post. Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin with the above Identity card dating from 1942.
This ration book supplement belongs to Mr William Herring of Mitchum in Surrey, and he will be told how and when to use it. (He sounds a bit fishy to me).
 Next up a rather interesting book about the erection of the Berlin wall.(That gentleman looks like he might be spending a penny to me).
 Some lucky dice.
 Splendid letter punches.
 A constructivist carrier bag for your Prokofiev records.
 A delightful scene of 1950's New York.
 And last but by no means least an extending ladder by Gravity Ladders of London.
 This must be of pre-war origins because we manufacture bugger all now.
More tomorrow.
Thank you.